Elevation

It's quite ridiculous how there are extremes in everything around us. For all the mountain peaks, there are ocean beds. For all the hot summers, there are chilly winters. For all the rock and hip hop, there is Jagjit Singh. And for all the extreme lows in life, there are highs.  Highs that excite you, amaze you, levitate you, just make you feel alive.  Highs that are a constant reminder that no matter how bleak times could be, a better day is just out there waiting for you. All you have to do is wait. Wait patiently, wait during the dark times, wait when you are in pain, wait when the world is against you, wait when you hit rock bottom. When you wait this out, when you wait out the extreme rock bottom, you have waited out the worst. It's all elevation after that. Elevation from the dark towards light, from the claustrophobic sorrow towards the enriching joy, from despair to life. Life which is beautiful, rewarding and satisfying. Life which is full of surprises, full of challenges and full of experiences. Life which is to live. To live every moment, everyday, everyhour, everyminute, everysecond. Life which is just once.
As a great man once said ''laugh, live, smile, you never know, Kal ho na ho".

The End

It was awesome. It was sweet. It was passionate. It was crazy. It was eternal. It was love. That is what I thought. That is what I believed. And I know that is what she thought. That is what she believed. We were in love, crazy about each other, ready to spend not one but a seven lifetimes with each other. We said 'I do' , we said 'Qubool hai' everyday. There was nothing else we wanted, just us, just us being together. We were madly in love.

And then something happened. She no more wanted to talk to me. She said our love was a mistake. She regretted the years we were together. She broke my heart. She broke my heart into a million pieces. I fought. I fought to get her back. But she wanted nothing to do with me. I cried every night, I died every day, but she was over me. She moved on. Her friends asked me to move on. I tried, I tried so hard. But I failed. Her memory became my nightmare. I spent hours thinking what went wrong, what made her hate me so much, what I could do to get her back.

But she was gone, to never come back. She was always a stubborn girl. She did not want to be with me and she would make sure she accomplished it. I tried to make peace with it. I abused her, I made my brain and my heart believe that she was evil. I succeeded. I was smiling again. I had finally moved on.

I gave my life a chance. I mingled with friends, I went out with other girls. But nothing worked. I compared everyone to her and no one was good enough. No one could even come close to the perfection that she was. She was the best thing that happened to me, that could have happened to me  but I fucked up. I fucked up everything.

And then one day she pinged me. She told me she is getting married. I died a million deaths that day. I wanted to cry but the tears had dried up. I wanted to get angry but the rage had flushed out. She was gone, forever. Every ounce of hope that I was living with, every possibility of us being together vanished.

 I congratulated her. She found happiness somewhere else and I was happy for her. She deserved the best and she was getting it.

I loved her and I will always love her. If not this life, maybe the next or the one after that. But she will be with me one day. For there is nothing else I have wanted more in my life than spending each and every minute of it with her. For now though, for this lifetime though, this is THE END.

Hold On.

This world is not a safe place to live in. Absolutely not. There are murderers on the loose, rapists prowling around, burglars observing you. But the most dangerous of all are your 'family', your 'friends' and your 'well wishers'. They are a vicious lot, someone you can't even get rid of. They want to see you be the best in the world, better than the best in fact. If you do that, your stories of success would be paraded around, your laurels would make them proud, your deeds would be ones to remember.

But what if you do not? What if you fail once or twice or thrice. What if Sharma ji ka beta gets the best job and you don't have one. What if Gupta ji ki beti tops an examination and you couldn't even clear it. Your well wishers get hurt, they are disappointed. How can you make them suffer like this? They still don't give up on you. They motivate you to try again, try harder. They PRESSURIZE you to fulfill your potential. They don't give you any other choice. You have to do it or you are nothing, a moo point.

And then you fail again. You have disappointed them once more. They have started giving up on you. You have crushed all their hopes. What do you do now? No one loves you anymore. No one really cares about you anymore. Your world comes crashing down around you.You just want to end the misery and the pain. You just want to end it all. And you do that. You take a blade and cut your wrist. Or muster up some more courage, tie a rope to the fan and hang yourself. Just finish everything.

But wait. Why are you killing yourself? Your well wishers are disappointed in you, they have given up on you. Good for them and even better for you. You know that failures are a part of life. You have hit the rock bottom. There is only one direction you can move now - up. And the best part, you don't have people inspecting each and every move you make (remember, they gave up on you). It is the best scenario that you could ask for in your life. Freedom to do something different, freedom to try new things, freedom to find your niche. So you get up, you fight and you live your life on your own terms.

Life is as such short. Don't make it shorter. Live everyday, laugh everyday, appreciate the world around you and tell people who undermine you to fuck off.

Just don't give up, never ever give up. Hold on. You are a diamond, you are precious, you are the best at being you. You are special. This world needs you. Please don't give up. HOLD ON.

LOSS

What is more painful than a break-up, more exhausting than a marathon, more soul crushing than a calamity, a LOSS. Losing is just unacceptable. No matter how hard you tried, how well you played, how close the margin of victory was, the team which lost is never remembered. Its the champions who rule every heart. And unfortunately I have not ruled any heart lately. It has been disappointing, sickening and mentally draining. Its more frustrating than its sad because there's no limit to the effort being put in, no boundaries to the commitment being shown, its just that last hurdle which has become the tallest barrier. Confidence is at its lowest and it should be. Only something drastic can help now. But even drastic seems like a distant dream in the current scenario. Hopeless state of affairs, hopeless luck, hopeless me.  :(

Eternal Love

Love is a tricky word. You hear this word and various images come flashing right in front of you. The image of that broken heart, those sour eyes, that unending river of tears or the image of those blushing cheeks, that mystical smile, the heavenly voice or maybe the image of that hot girl dancing to the tunes of 'damn, she's a sexy bitch'. Tricky, as i just said.  But one thing is for certain : love, whatever it may do to you, is the most desired, the most cherished, the most wished entity (MBA :( ) in this world. A point to note here. I am talking of love and not making love. Dirty minds, eh???

I have always wondered if I would have been the same had I not met my love 4 years back. I don't think I would have. In these wonderful 4 years, she has been the constant in my life. Life took turns for good or bad, but every time something happened she was there alongside me to support me in times of despair, calm me in times of frustration, celebrate with me in times of success and of course laugh with me throughout. (No bragging, I have a pretty bad-ass sense of humor.)  She is the best thing to happen to me. But all good things come with a trade off. There are days when coz of her everything becomes dismal. I don't feel like going out, talking or doing anything productive. But I ignore these days, in fact I am forced to ignore them due to the fact that they are fully compensated by those amazing times I spend with her. 

I just hope and pray that she stays with me for eternity and beyond. My love, my life, my world, my everything, my Blender's Pride. <3 <3 <3 

Mind Fuck

The second hand lost its speed, the fan was in a super slow motion, the door creaked ever so slightly, the time had stopped flowing it seemed. Seldom, such days come in a life when everything feels so dismal, so grim, so repelling. The heart loses its beat, the eyes lose their sparkle, the lips lose their smile and the mind goes numb. Life turns into the glacier which moves constantly but looks immovable. 'Sit and stare at the empty wall' is all there is left to do. The melancholia eats up the entire room like a demon and the helpless, powerless you just watches in great awe. Hallucinations and delusions become your best friends as you watch reality die a cold death. You feel thirsty, you feel hungry, you feel like crying, you feel senseless, you feel tired, you feel sleepy, you feel nothing.  Red turns blue turns green turns violet turns brown turns red. The ceiling wants to gulp you up, the floor wants to suck you in and the walls move in, threatening to smash you to pieces. Darkness all around.

machow, koi nimboo paani pilao jaldi....

Sherlock Holmes and the case of uber reasoning

So I have recently unraveled the biggest mystery of all. Thanks to a certain Mr Sherlock Holmes for being the guiding light throughout. Before I disclose the findings of my investigation, a small note of appreciation for the best detective ever. Sherlock Holmes was always known to me through Sir Arthur Doyle's books which I read at a very young age. But honestly, I had forgotten all about him over time. Then Sherlock (TV series) happened. There is no way in this world that may prevent you, me or anybody from falling in love with the series, especially Mr Holmes. I marveled at the rate at which his brain works, so observant, so smooth, so annoying, yet so suave. Needless to say, I am the new die hard follower and fan of this amazing genius.

Coming back to my investigation now. I always believed that things happened around us for a reason, a reason which hides itself in the present but gradually reveals itself. But what I have concluded from my 2 month long work is that life is a big co-incidence. Our mind makes us believe that there is a certain relationship between events, our heart tells us its destiny. But actually none of this is true. Let me share with you some instances that will substantiate my opinion.

i) The case of eternal love:
Ever seen a couple embraced in each other's arms, totally in love, unfazed by their surroundings. We all have. Ask them and they will tell you that they are soul mates, that the way they came together was like a fairy tale, that they are made for each other for eternity. Bullshit!! Its a simple consequence of a girl saying YES. (The reason I dint write 'boy' in the previous sentence is that a girl seldom goes crazy about a guy and asks him out). Most of the times the hottie (that a guy is crazy about) will never say a YES, probably because, being a hottie, she got committed at a very tender age of 16. So the theory of love tells the guy to go a notch down. The next best girl. This process goes on until there is a YES. And because the guy made so many efforts to get that elusive YES, the girl becomes the soul mate, the ONE.

ii) The case of the God gifted child:
Just the mention of the three words, God gifted child, makes us utter the names of people around us we have related with the attribute. A boy consistently gets good marks in examination, god gifted brain. A girl amazes the world with her singing, god gifted voice. A player displays amazing football skills, god gifted feet. When the God is so gracious, why the hell do we have people like Tushar Kapoor, Kapil Sibbal, Sreesanth. The explanation is very simple. There are no gifts being distributed. Just a mere co incidence that a boy was born in a family which has intelligent parents and turned out to be a genius. The same goes for a brilliant artist or a mesmerizing sports person.

We need to learn to stop applying logic in every bit of our life, stop being an engineer for sometime, just let the events be. Our brain would thank us, our heart will smile and the body will relish the much needed time out.

Just remember the line, "No reasons can explain why the world is so envious (read: jealous) of Aashish Nag".