Ever wondered why life's such a bitch??? Why is happiness so short-lived??? Why everything u love, u like is taken away from u???? Wondering all this is another of the bitch's tricks on us. Tricks that we keep getting entangled into. Finally it turns into this huge whirlpool which sucks you in, to never let go.. What is left of you is a tired, gloomy, frustrated soul that just wont fight anymore.
This maybe a negative view of life, but what the heck. Being positive, throughout my life, hasn't taken me anywhere. Rotting on the 5th floor of a building in Noida.... Or maybe I was always extra positive... You cant expect apples if u sow orange seeds... In my case, I was sowing nothing and still wanted apples which is absolutely ridiculous. Result - a beaten guy who has lost all hope of ever rising again.
In these suicidal times, i just have no idea who to trust to share with what I am going through, how badly I am suffering right now. Friends will give it a lighter touch which I don't want, family will declare an emergency which I am not ready for, others are too selfish to listen (they might get a topic to laugh about). The only solace is that I see everybody suffering, some even more than me. Human nature is to mock and find happiness in others weakness. This is a momentary relief though.
I can't live like this. I never wanted to and I never would. But the options in front of me are scarce and opportunities are running away slowly and gradually. Its high time I take control of my life. Do what I feel is right. For once not go with the flow. Change must come and come very soon.
In college, I always chuckled whenever someone told me that life is not a bed of roses. Now with thorns all over my body, even a chuckle causes bleeding. Bad days are back again.
