The End

It was awesome. It was sweet. It was passionate. It was crazy. It was eternal. It was love. That is what I thought. That is what I believed. And I know that is what she thought. That is what she believed. We were in love, crazy about each other, ready to spend not one but a seven lifetimes with each other. We said 'I do' , we said 'Qubool hai' everyday. There was nothing else we wanted, just us, just us being together. We were madly in love.

And then something happened. She no more wanted to talk to me. She said our love was a mistake. She regretted the years we were together. She broke my heart. She broke my heart into a million pieces. I fought. I fought to get her back. But she wanted nothing to do with me. I cried every night, I died every day, but she was over me. She moved on. Her friends asked me to move on. I tried, I tried so hard. But I failed. Her memory became my nightmare. I spent hours thinking what went wrong, what made her hate me so much, what I could do to get her back.

But she was gone, to never come back. She was always a stubborn girl. She did not want to be with me and she would make sure she accomplished it. I tried to make peace with it. I abused her, I made my brain and my heart believe that she was evil. I succeeded. I was smiling again. I had finally moved on.

I gave my life a chance. I mingled with friends, I went out with other girls. But nothing worked. I compared everyone to her and no one was good enough. No one could even come close to the perfection that she was. She was the best thing that happened to me, that could have happened to me  but I fucked up. I fucked up everything.

And then one day she pinged me. She told me she is getting married. I died a million deaths that day. I wanted to cry but the tears had dried up. I wanted to get angry but the rage had flushed out. She was gone, forever. Every ounce of hope that I was living with, every possibility of us being together vanished.

 I congratulated her. She found happiness somewhere else and I was happy for her. She deserved the best and she was getting it.

I loved her and I will always love her. If not this life, maybe the next or the one after that. But she will be with me one day. For there is nothing else I have wanted more in my life than spending each and every minute of it with her. For now though, for this lifetime though, this is THE END.

Hold On.

This world is not a safe place to live in. Absolutely not. There are murderers on the loose, rapists prowling around, burglars observing you. But the most dangerous of all are your 'family', your 'friends' and your 'well wishers'. They are a vicious lot, someone you can't even get rid of. They want to see you be the best in the world, better than the best in fact. If you do that, your stories of success would be paraded around, your laurels would make them proud, your deeds would be ones to remember.

But what if you do not? What if you fail once or twice or thrice. What if Sharma ji ka beta gets the best job and you don't have one. What if Gupta ji ki beti tops an examination and you couldn't even clear it. Your well wishers get hurt, they are disappointed. How can you make them suffer like this? They still don't give up on you. They motivate you to try again, try harder. They PRESSURIZE you to fulfill your potential. They don't give you any other choice. You have to do it or you are nothing, a moo point.

And then you fail again. You have disappointed them once more. They have started giving up on you. You have crushed all their hopes. What do you do now? No one loves you anymore. No one really cares about you anymore. Your world comes crashing down around you.You just want to end the misery and the pain. You just want to end it all. And you do that. You take a blade and cut your wrist. Or muster up some more courage, tie a rope to the fan and hang yourself. Just finish everything.

But wait. Why are you killing yourself? Your well wishers are disappointed in you, they have given up on you. Good for them and even better for you. You know that failures are a part of life. You have hit the rock bottom. There is only one direction you can move now - up. And the best part, you don't have people inspecting each and every move you make (remember, they gave up on you). It is the best scenario that you could ask for in your life. Freedom to do something different, freedom to try new things, freedom to find your niche. So you get up, you fight and you live your life on your own terms.

Life is as such short. Don't make it shorter. Live everyday, laugh everyday, appreciate the world around you and tell people who undermine you to fuck off.

Just don't give up, never ever give up. Hold on. You are a diamond, you are precious, you are the best at being you. You are special. This world needs you. Please don't give up. HOLD ON.